I've had a couple of people tell me over the past couple of days that I've been more withdrawn lately. I guess to some extent that's true. I think it has to do with the fact that I've realized that a situation that I hoped would turn out my way is not going to turn out my way. So I think it's a defense mechanism. I feel like I have to isolate myself so that nothing bad will happen to me. I wish that wasn't the case, because if I know that it's not going to work out my way, then that should be enough to keep me from getting hurt. Makes sense, right? It might also be because it feels like I'm constantly around people, like I have no time to myself. It's kind of a double edged sword. I love all my friends and I love hanging out with them. But I do also have this feeling that I need to be by myself sometimes. So I think that's where the withdrawing comes from. I don't know. I wish that I could just put myself out there and not worry about things that I shouldn't even have to be worrying about. For some reason I have a hard time just being myself sometimes. I admit that I'm mainly writing this for Steph, because she's asked me what's going on with me and I've never known how to explain it. I think it will get better once school starts because then I'll have something to focus on. Right now I don't have anything to focus on, and so I end up focusing on things that really don't even matter and that I shouldn't worry about. I'm babbling. So I'll stop. I hope this clears things up for people. If it just confuses you more, I'm sorry.
Home movies is one of the best shows ever. Coach is my hero.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment