There's Never Enough Silence

(.........................................)

Ron Jeremy

There are a bunch of girls downstairs in their pajamas giggling and kicking balloons around. I feel like a porn star.

Let Your Losses Dangle off the Sharp Edge of the Century

Tomorrow is my last day working at the music store that I've worked at for the past 5 years. Now, I know I'm susceptible to sentimentality, but I think some is appropriate for this. I'm 23; I've worked there for roughly a 5th of my life (I say 5th because, as Peter Griffin would say, that's a fraction I can't even begin to measure. I cant divide 5 into 23 in my head. Or is it 23 into 5? Fuck, I don't know). In the scheme of my life, that's a fairly long time. It was the first real job I ever had. It wasn't a summer temp job; it was a real, honest to god 36-40 hours a week job. So, yesterday I was listening to Tegan & Sarah and the Weakerthans (two albums that got heavy rotation in the store) while receiving, and it brought up a lot of memories. Sure, I hated working retail, but I had so much fucking fun working there because of my co-workers. Working with Jeff was great because we got to music snobs and talk about stupid stuff and goof around (and get high while on the job every once in awhile); it was a blast. Larissa was awesome too. And I miss Marina to death. She was a great friend, and I regret losing touch with her.

So, if I have all these great memories, why the sentimentality? I'm fucking scared, that's why. I feel like so much change is right around the corner in my life. Now, don't get me wrong, I welcome change; evolution is a necessity. But, It still scares me. Most might think I'm referring to the wedding, but that actually scares me the least. I've lived with Steph for two years now, and I love her as much today as I did then. All that's changing is the title of what we are. What scares me is where I'm heading and what I'm leaving behind. I'll be honest; I still don't know what I want to do with my life, It changes on an almost daily basis. And that kind of worries me. I feel like I'll spend too much time trying to figure things out, that it will be too late to do anything when I do figure it out (please hold your "But you're only 23!" comments for now please). Second, I don't know if I want to live around here anymore. We just can't afford to live here, unless we fall into a substantial amount of money. But at the same time, everything I know is here; I've lived in this area my whole life. It's like a comfort zone for me, and all the friends I have are here (I don't have very many, but I'll take quality over quantity any day). That said, I'd love to live someplace else. I feel like I haven't really lived on my own yet because I've always had a safety net, something or someone to fall back on.

To sum it up, I'm at a crossroads, and the looming change has me somewhat scared. But at the same time I'm excited about all the possibilities. I do feel like for the first time, I can say "I want to do this," and I can actually do it. I guess that it's fitting that in the episode of "Six Feet Under" that I watched last night, Kathy Bates' character says to Ruth, "If you're scared of doing something, than that means you should probably do it."

Take a deep breath, be strong. First things first: I'm calling Marina.

Concert Going

We went to see New Found Glory at Slims last night. It was crazy. It was nice to see such a huge band at such a small venue. The crowd was insane; it reminded me of a Less Than Jake show. Anyway, it was good times. It's been awhile since I've been to a show. I miss going, since I used to go to shows all the time. Damn working nights!!!

Bear Food

bearfood
Originally uploaded by litheum94.

I was looking through a magazine at work and came across this. I found it interesting that you can purchase food for bears. I mean, I could understand if you were a zoo keeper, but I wouldn't think that you'd be buying food for your bears through a mail order magazine. But I could be wrong.

Smarter Than I Thought

So I was poking around Amazon.com just now, and I came across this book. It's abook about how you can tell a lot about a country by how big soccer is in the country (at least that's what I got from the small synopsis). Why does this matter? Because I was talking to Steph about this over sushi and drinks yesterday, and I thought that the idea just came from my drunken stupor. Turns out I brought up a good point. It's things like that, not things like graduating college, that help convince me that I am smart about some things.

End ego stroking.

I can not watch Celebrity Jeopardy. It's way too painful.

Are You Ready to Rock B.K. Broiler?!?

Hello to everyone. It's been awhile, but we finally have a stable internet connection at our new place, so I'm back. The new place rocks, and it's awesome to live with Matt again. Everything's been going well.

Yesterday was a good day. Matt and Steph and I hung out all day and we talked about a bunch of shit. Some of it was just bullshitting, some of it was stuff that we've been wanting to say for awhile but never did. Much progress was made. Avenues were opened, as well as my eyes to certain things. I feel refreshed today, for the first time in a long time. Thanks to Matt and Steph for sharing the experience with me.

I don't know what I'm going to do today. I may just go for a walk for a little bit. For some reason I've really been feeling the need to do that.

Talk to you all soon

Love Me Gently With a Chainsaw

All I want is to be able to go into work and not have to hear anybody bitching about something. Just one day. Please. It's starting to drive me crazy.

So we're moving again. Headed back to RP to live with Matt. I am going to miss living in our current place, but we'll save a good amount of money on gas, and I won't have to worry about getting sick from all the mold that developes in our house. I think it will be better for Steph and I as well to have a roommate again. We won't have to rely on each other as much for company. Not that I don't want her company, but, you know.

I must say the Super Bowl is overrated. People celebrate over the most mundane accomplishments. Stupid, and quite boring, I must say.

Fluffy bunnies

"The Shining," as acted out by bunnies.

Resident Evil: Apocalypse of the Lame

The only thing more cliche than zombie movies this day is finding out that one of your closest friends and/or relatives has been bitten by a zombie, and you now must kill him. Seriously, name a zombie movie made in which this doesn't happen. Anyway, I watched Resdient Evil: Apocalypse the other night, and, well, not even Milla Jovovich could save it. It was just lame; bad acting, stupid script, etc, etc.

Speaking of dissapointments, Panda Palace sucks. Now, you may ask me, "Jason, why the hell would you eat Panda Palace instead of eating real Chinese food?" Well, disembodied voice, it's because it's located in the same shopping center that I work in, so it's close. Anyway, the food sucked. I wish I could say that it was because it had been sitting around all day and thus was not fresh, except that I saw it come straight from the kitchen. The sweat and sour pork looked like it had been stepped on; all the pieces of pork were flat like saucers. They tasted like they were barely cooked, as was the pineapple. I can't even remember what else I had, and I'll count that as a blessing.

Extended Education

I picked up a Japanese language program the other day. I decided to learn a new language to fill up the extra hours that I have now that I'm done with school. I haven't actually started yet, because I haven't been home the last couple of days, but I'm stoked about it.

In other news, for people who need to fill some missing gap in their lives by knowing all the trivial happenings of my life (which I really hope is no one), I got new shoes today. I've decided to go back to wearing Vans. I've been wearing DCs for the past 3-4 years, but I don't like any of their new designs, so I'm trying Vans again.

I've been playing GTA:San Andreas lately. I wasn't as excited about this one, because I figured it would be just about the same as Vice City. Surprise, surprise, it is basically the same. But I still fucking love it. I forgot how awesome this game series has been (at least since 3). I mean, all they really added was some mini games and character customization, but the game itself is so fun, I can't put it down. And I must admit, I do have a lot of fun playing pool in the bars. It's nice to have a video game that I'm excited about again.

In case you were wondering

I knew that Costco sold a lot of shit, but I had no clue that they sold these.

I also recently picked up the deluxe edition of Nine Inch Nails' The Downward Spiral. I must say, it's the first remastered cd I've ever bought that sounds remarkably better than the original.

"Are you sure we should drink together? Who am I going to complain about?"

I just spent the day loafing around. It was Steph's first day of work, so I've been up since 6 (minus a two hour nap). I've watched a butt load of Iron Chef and Seinfeld. And the best thing is, I don't have school tomorrow, so I don't have to feel guilty for not doing homework!

We had Christmas at my grandma's house yesterday. It was good times. We had hella good tri-tip; it was marinated in ginger, garlic anc cilantro (amongst other things). THen Matt came over to watch Man U beat the snot out of Southhampton. That kid Rooney has got a hell of a foot on him.

Time to finish off Christmas shopping.

Count 'Em Down

Okay. Here it is. My Top 10 Albums of 2004.

10) (tie) Straylight Run - S/T
Jimmy Eat World - Futures
9) Elliot Smith - From a Basement on the Hill
8) Rise Against - Siren Song of the Counter-Culture
7) Ben Kweller - On My Way
6) Taking Back Sunday - Where You Want to Be
5) Killers - Hot Fuss
4) Bad Religion - The Empire Strikes First
3) Pj Harvey - Uh Huh Her
2) Green Day - American Idiot
1) My Chemical Romance - Three Cheers for Sweet Revenge

Honorable mention goes to the Cure, Bjork, the Faint, Flogging Molly, Get Up Kids, Modest Mouse, New Found Glory, Sugarcult, Rilo Kiley

For I'm a Jolly Good Fellow

I'm officially done with school. Not for the semester. For good. Until grad school, that is. It's kind of a strange feeling to be done with school. I've defined myself as a student for 15 some odd years now, and suddenly, I'm not a student anymore. It's kind of scary. What the hell do I do now? I've had two college grads tell me that I'm doomed to be depressed for a little bit about being done with school. That's not the way I would have expected it to turn out, but I can totally understand. I have to find a new definition for myself and my life. Hopefully I'll fin done quick.

I just got back home from having drinks with Matt, Bert and Steph. It's Matt's 23 birthday. Cheers my good friend. Here's to at least 23 more (and it better be more than that ya bastard).

I'm tired as hell. Think I'll curl up on teh couch and go to sleep.

Bang a Gong, We Are On

For fans of Iron Chef, here is Masaharu Morimoto's official web site. There's even a fan club to join!!!

You Kept Safe Until the Long Drive Home, You Slept Safe and Close to the Window...

So we broke down and bought down and bought DDR so we can try to lose some weight. I ran the equialent of 5 miles today. Mega-nooch. If I can do even half of that every day, I'll be very happy.

We got almost all our Christmas shopping done today. I'm so stoked. I just need one more gift for my dad and mom, my aunt, Eric and Matt. Rock.

We saw Closer tonight. It was really good. And Natalie Portman is fucking gorgeous in it. That in itself would be enough to get me to see it, but it was a good movie too. Kind of depressing, even more so for a guy who's getting ready to get married, but I recommend it.

It's Been Awhile...

Okay. So I guess I've got a lot to update you people on. I'll start at Thanksgiving.

I worked on Thanksgiving morning. It was fucking busy. And almost every animal that came in was mean or skittish, which made it harder. For the second week in a row, we found an animal dead in the back. This one bled out its ass. Nasty. That night, we went out to Steph's aunt's house in Newark. It was fun, but I wish we would have had Thanksgiving at her parent's house that night instead. We had dinner their the next night, but I had to go to work and I missed out on desert, pool and poker. Thanksgiving went well though.

I started skinning my baboon that Monday, and the following week I gutted it. We got a lot of good stuff. We got the heart, lungs, liver, kidney and possibly the uterus (my prof had left for the day, so I couldn't ask him), but let me tell you, getting the stomach and the intestines out sucked. They stunk so bad because of the fecal matter in the intestines and the chyme. It was horrible, but went well after that.

We've decided to sell the Beetle. We really need money right now, and we'll get a lot more from it than my car. It's a really cool car, and better than mine, but the payments are also bigger than my current payments, so I don't know if I can afford it, especially right now. I'm a little bummed, but it's okay. I'll get a new car in a couple years. Mine still works fine.

We finally got "Save the Date" cards and invintations for the wedding. We got them at Target for hell of cheap; $40 for 100 invintations and $20 for 100 Save the Date cards. They look really nice too. We also got a space heater dealy, cause it's been freaking cold in our house.

That's all I can remember for right now. Time to watch Real Sex :)

What a Week

My week at work was kind of sucky. I worked 6 days in a row, because I was covering for someone (I do get a four day weekend next week), and cats really hated me. One of them scratched my hand, and another one bit my finger. So I have a nasty scratch on my left hand, and a small chunk of skin missing from the index finger on my right hand. So I have a day off today, but I need to start working on a paper for my political science class. Boo.

On the bright side, Steph's ring is almost paid off, and one of my credit cards will be paid off by next month. I'm so stoked about that. That'll be an extra $350 a month. Of course, that will go towards other bills, but it'll help a lot. Yay!

A Crying Shame

This week, a legacy ended, with the death of a very important figure in this world. He was loved by many, and he was hated by many, but none can deny the impact he had on people. I am, of course, speaking of Old Dirty Bastard.

I'm tired of working. I've decided that I don't have enough fun for a person of my age. I work about 45 hours a week, I go to school (thankfully not full time this semester), and that doesn't leave much time for me to have a social life. It mainly has to do with my work schedule; since I don't get off until after midnight, it makes it had to do something after work. So this is a cry, nay, plea! for my friends to help me (and Steph) have somewhat of a life. Thank you in advance.